Do you know the importance of emotional intelligence? What is emotional intelligence anyway? Do you need to care about it? If yes, how can you develop it?
For decades, people used to care only about IQ (Intelligent Quotient). They simply say “That guy is smart”. But later on, people figured out that it is not the end of the story. Because life is bigger than that, and we can’t just use this one criterion as the only measurement of someone’s intellect.
Let me give you a couple of examples for you to better understand this subject and relate to it.
Think about a smart guy/woman, who is the author of several different books, maybe even the author of new theories. And we say that the person is smart. And it could very well be true.
But at the same time, the very same person can have a hard time standing up for himself/herself, or dealing with stressful situations, conflicts, etc. How come?
It is because there are different levels of intellect; different spheres of intellect, rather.
Here is another example:
Imagine a very rich guy, who is successful in his professional career, but at the same time, does not have friends, or does not have true love in his life.
You will realize that the life of this person is not complete. He is not fulfilled in life, and is not happy, even though he is really smart in different activities at work.
In general, what is emotional intelligence?
It is your ability to truly understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of other people. If you have a high level of emotional intelligence, it will make you a very effective communicator, because your success on different things depends on how well you interact with others.
And that’s when your ability to truly understand the other people becomes so much important. If you have high emotional intelligence, you will realize that anger is just the other side of fear.
For example, a high level of ambition may just be the hidden inner-needs for love. And knowing this about other people makes it much easier for you to manage your communication with them, or even manage the other people themselves if you are at a managerial position.
Having said that, let me give you a few very simple tips for developing your emotional intelligence so that you can act accordingly when interacting with people with high emotional intellect.
1) Avoid Impulsive Buys
This is one of the situations where our emotions can play against us. Nowadays, brain-scanners are used for developing commercials to decide what kind of commercials will pull the triggers into your mind and will make you buy.
That is why you have to be aware of this and keep your money safe.
Whenever you go to a shopping mall, decide in advance how much money you are going to spend at a maximum, and stick to that amount. Or even better, you can come up with a list of things that you want to buy before you go to the shopping mall, and stick to the list.
2) Use the ‘I’ Sentences
Typically when we are unhappy about someone’s behaviour, we start blaming them; we say “You are doing ‘that’. You are ‘that’ kind of a person”. And what happens next?
We hope that the person will change his/her behaviour, but in reality, their reaction is different.
Whenever you start blaming, the other person takes the defensive approach. And depending on their habitual way to respond, that person will either just be upset because of your critics or will start fighting back.
In either case, that person actually will not change his/her behaviour. What can you do instead of blaming them?
You can use the ‘I’ statements. When you say “I don’t feel valued when these things happen”, you don’t offend the other person because you talk about yourself, and your emotions.
Doing so will dramatically increase the chances of that person changing his/her behaviour.
3) Develop A Ritual To Keep Your Mood High
Let me ask you a question: Do you know what kind of videos are the most popular on YouTube?
These are music videos. Why do we listen to music? Naturally, it does not have any kind of useful effect in our lives. We don’t learn anything. But yet, why do we listen to it?
It’s simple – deep down, we feel that our emotional sake is more important. Of course, it is true!
Pretty often we underestimate the importance of our emotional state on our performance. Well, this direct correlation exists!
Let’s say you need to make a certain presentation or to sell something. What do you need to have to make it successful? Is it just to know the subject of your presentation, or is it your emotional state that is going to decide the outcome?
Sometimes when you feel confident, when you are persuasive and have the perfect sense of humour, you can easily communicate with other people; seamlessly and effectively, you get what you want.
Whereas if you are having a bad day, your performance will be affected.
What can you do about this?
As we already discussed, music can be one of the things that you can use to change your emotional state. But of course, it cannot be the only thing that you can depend on when you need to put yourself into your best state.
So what other things can you consider? For example, you could develop certain morning rituals that you can follow to keep your energy and your emotional state high.
It could be writing something down in your gratitude journal; you could write 5 things that you are grateful for. You may write down your goals, or even the 5 good things that happened to you over the last 24 hours.
These little things make a big difference because they positively affect your emotional state, and hence your performance down the road.
These were the 3 simple tips that will help you to manage your emotional state better and to improve your performance as well.
Let me know in the comments which one you like the most. And, if you find these tips valuable, please share this article with your friends. 😊