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How To Seem More Confident And Kill The Dating Jitters?

In today’s social media day and age, it has become very easy to go on dates with strangers. Not only is it possible for you to find a partner from any corner of the world, but we have also gotten very accustomed to communicating over a medium. Therefore, when there is an imminent in-person interaction, it can get quite daunting.

Dating can be an exciting adrenaline rush. But for most of us, the lead up to the first date is often times nerve-wracking and sweaty palms.

Even if you don't have any social anxiety or inferiority complexity, you can still get quite restless and anxious before your first date with the stranger.

You may even start doubting yourself, your strengths and personality traits. We become harsh self-critics during such times. This phenomenon further adds to the existing nervousness.

 

Have you faced a similar problem too?

Probably yes, right?
This is normal.
It happens to most of us.
It does not mean that you are not confident. Rather, this feeling of nervousness before a first date is due to the play of different emotions and hormones that are probably running high at this time.

In this article, we will learn 3 useful tips to tame this date jitters and nervousness and thereby appear more self-confident when on a first-time date with a stranger.

 

Tip 1: Pay attention to your body language.

Body posture is a huge tell-tale of your inner emotions. You will be surprised just how much, body postures and gestures reveal about your thoughts and feelings.

For example, a study, revealed that by merely making an active effort to hold yourself tall and head high, can make your feel more confident and in control of the situation.

Therefore, consciously making an effort to “keep a nice, relaxed and confident gait” not only positively alters your mood and confidence but it also sends the right subliminal messaging to your date.

Other tips are:

  1. Maintain eye contact.
  2. Smile.
  3. Do not feel the need to fill the silence with your words. Do not ramble on.
  4. Do not slouch.
  5. Laugh out loud genuinely.
  6. Do not sit cross armed or in a close position.
  7. Try to open up your upper torso.
  8. Wear comfortable clothes to the date so that you are not constantly fidgeting.

If you have a few days or weeks or months before your date, you can work on your fitness. Working out will genuinely make you feel more attractive, happy and desirable.

 

Tip 2: Consciously hit back at your inner-critic.

Our inner critic usually kicks in at the worst times! This nagging inner voice is the loudest when we feel the need to impress someone.

Baseless criticisms, judgement and disproval of our inner traits and behavioural actions is common. This constant inner nagging can get quite overwhelming and tiring.

“I probably sound dumb.”
“I sound so needy!”
“I am not attractive enough.”
“I am too short.”
“I eat weirdly.”

This inner critic is actually our self-defence mechanism.
Probably sounds counter-intuitive, right?
Think of it like this – the inner voice does not want you to get hurt. So the constant inner criticisms, is preparing your for the worst outcome of the date. Essentially, it is making you less vulnerable to a heart break.

Simply knowing this fact is empowering.
Acknowledge that we all have an inner critic. Your date is probably feeling the same way!
Once this is done, actively, counteract the criticism and remind yourself of your beautiful achievements, strengths and qualities. Make this into a habit.

 

Tip 3: Remind yourself that you are the chooser (and not the one who is getting chosen)

Dating is mutual liking. Just as much as you want him/ her to like you. The date should also be able to impress you enough, for you to like him/her.

Shift your attention from “How can I get him/ her to like me?” to “How can he/she get me to like him?”

 Don't get fixated on thinking about whether your date likes you and what he/she is thinking about you. Instead, focus your attention on how you feel about your date.

Does he make you happy?
Does his personality match with yours?
Are you excited by him?

Ask yourself these questions.
Find honest answers.
Put yourself and your interest above all.

 

Conclusion:

Although dating is fun and exciting, the lead up to your first date can get quite nerve-racking and daunting. Try these useful 3 tips to tame the dating jitters and appear more confident on your first date.

  1. Tip 1: Pay attention to your body language.
  2. Tip 2: Consciously hit back at your inner-critic.
  3. Tip 3: Remind yourself that you are the chooser (and not the one who is getting chosen)
Aishwarya

Aishwarya

Aishwarya Manjunath is a graduate from University College London. She has a keen interest in understanding what drives decisions, attitudes and behaviours.

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