You’ve probably set several life goals for yourself. For example:
- New Year Resolutions
- Bucket Lists that you wanted ticked off by a certain age
- Other on-going interpersonal goals
The list goes on…
While you may have achieved some of these life goals, it is very likely that several of them are still pending.
So what is stopping us from achieving ALL of our life goals?
How do we make our idealistic vision of our life, come true?
The ‘Safe Box’ analogy
This situation is more like a Safe Box. In order to unlock the box, you need to enter 10 correct digits. Even if you have 9 correct and 1 incorrect, it will not open.
Similarly, in our lives, even if we are doing everything 100% right and with positive things, one negative action can offset our momentum and prevent us from achieving our dreams.
In this article, we will be discussing this –
We will explore what could be that small barrier that is hindering your success.
How do we remove it so that we are able to accomplish all our dreams?
Here are 2 stories that will shed some light into these questions.
Note: You might have read them before. If so, do read them once again; it will make a lot of sense in this context.
Story #1: The Unbelievable Story Of A Mighty Elephant Leashed By A Feeble Rope…
A man once made an unusual observation –
He noticed that a herd of elephants were tied to a tree using a small rope tied to their front leg.
There were no chains.
No cages either.
How could such majestic creatures be held by one small rope?!
It was obvious that the elephants could break away from the ropes that they were tied to at any time. But, why didn’t they?!
So the man decided to clear his doubt with the elephant trainer:
The man: Why are these magnificent animals not making any attempts to get away?
The trainer: Well, ever since they were very young (and of course much smaller), we used the same size of rope to tie them. At that age, it was enough to hold them.
Now being adults, they have been conditioned to believe that they cannot break away. They continue to believe that the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.
The man was amazed!
These animals could very well break free at any time from their bonds. But, because they believed that they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.
Story #2: Experiment with fleas…
This story is actually an experiment conducted with fleas and you can see this video in this link.
Key Take-Away From These Stories:
1. Your beliefs were probably formed in your childhood.
Just like the elephant story, many of your current beliefs were probably formed in your childhood. Perhaps, it is time to upgrade them. After all, they might not be relevant to the present situation anymore.
So dig deep and ask yourself, “Which beliefs of mine were formed in my childhood?”
Review them. Eliminate the out-dated beliefs. Replace the same with positive counterparts.
2. You might have (involuntarily) inherited these self-limiting beliefs from your parents.
As you saw in Story #2, the fleas did not even try to jump above the norms set by their parents. Just like the fleas inherited self-limiting beliefs from their parents, the same is also possible for you.
3. Numerous researches have concluded that we are influenced (to a great extent) by our surroundings.
We innately strive to conform to the societal norms and adopt the same beliefs as that of the community around us. This fulfils a fundamental need of humans ‘to belong.’
What Do I Do?
There are two important implications:
1. It is important to surround yourself with people whom you aspire to be (or achieve the goals that they did).
Associating yourself with such people, will allow you to imbibe empowering and productive beliefs that will in turn enable you to achieve your higher goals.
If you cannot associate with such people directly (example: celebrities), you can do so indirectly (via books, documentaries, biographies).
The more you study such people, the more will you be able to adopt their traits. There will be increased chances of you following a similar life path and thereby increasing the likelihood of you achieving your goals.
2. It is important to recollect who influenced you the most as a child – the people you spent the most time with.
It would have probably been your parents, caretakers and teachers. If these people were not successful or were unhappy with certain things in life, they probably came up with good reasons for the same.
As a kid, you are more likely to imbibe their stories and beliefs, as you are more impressionable and less critical.
Image Courtesy: fototails
These stories and beliefs could have made them feel better at that time. BUT, it might have led you to imbibe self-limiting beliefs that are not applicable to you at all!
So review these beliefs and update them if they are limiting your ability to achieve success.
How Do We Review And Update Self-Limiting Beliefs?
- Identity which beliefs are self-limiting.
- Form positive counter statements.
- Replace the self-limiting beliefs with positive counter statements.
#1: Self-limiting belief: “Rich people are bad.”
#2: Positive counter statement: “Rich people are great and they can do a lot of nice things for the society.”
#3: Replace #1 with #2.
- Identity your self-limiting beliefs. Also, analyse your parents’ self-limiting beliefs. Have you unconsciously inherited any of them? Replace these self-limiting beliefs with positive and productive counter statements.
- Surround yourself with people you aspire to be (directly or indirectly). The more you do this, the higher are the chances of you achieving similarly high goals.
P.S. Did you find the right set of people yet? Where did you meet them?